No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
