I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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