My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
