did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Randomize
