Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize