Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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