I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Randomize
