tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize