Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize