some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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