I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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