so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
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You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
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Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i think im in europe. pls send help
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
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