I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize