he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize