isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
