have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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