Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
