I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
