I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
