i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Randomize
