please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
