Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
