is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Randomize
