This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
