3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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