you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Randomize
