soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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