1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
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Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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