I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.