I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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