What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
