Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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