I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
