Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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