Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
