Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
