so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
