Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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