I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
