All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize