I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete