There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?