Texts From Last Night

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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk

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  (612): How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk http://tfl.nu/wp9g
  Replies (7) Good night (952) Bad night (3454)
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  (408): View more from California

  every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.

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  (408): every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better. http://tfl.nu/nucz
  Replies (10) Good night (2921) Bad night (867)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people

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  (614): If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people http://tfl.nu/avir
  Replies (19) Good night (4415) Bad night (1146)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.

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  (417): I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous. http://tfl.nu/gmif
  Replies (32) Good night (4075) Bad night (597)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.

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  (615): He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick. http://tfl.nu/ib3l
  Replies (23) Good night (1129) Bad night (7814)
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  (365): View more from

  I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.

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  (365): I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors. http://tfl.nu/2m9c
  Replies (1) Good night (3366) Bad night (790)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  DIN'T JUSGE NE.

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  (360): DIN'T JUSGE NE. http://tfl.nu/13q1
  Replies (15) Good night (4173) Bad night (795)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  ...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.

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  (330): ...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again. http://tfl.nu/4ubg
  Replies (10) Good night (901) Bad night (2295)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it

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  (503): Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it http://tfl.nu/r81k
  Replies (14) Good night (3236) Bad night (507)
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  (315): View more from New York

  You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"

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  (315): You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?" http://tfl.nu/ihjb
  Replies (4) Good night (936) Bad night (706)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.

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  (757): I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away. http://tfl.nu/b7dn
  Replies (4) Good night (742) Bad night (713)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night

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  (614): your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night http://tfl.nu/piwn
  Replies (6) Good night (842) Bad night (326)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  Turn on the Discovery Channel

  (586): View more from Michigan

  Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting

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  (586): Turn on the Discovery Channel (586): Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting http://tfl.nu/ex8r
  Replies (6) Good night (616) Bad night (304)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?

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  (815): is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush? http://tfl.nu/jh6a
  Replies (3) Good night (380) Bad night (406)
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  (915): View more from Texas

  I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?

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  (915): I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like? http://tfl.nu/163q
  Replies (5) Good night (252) Bad night (744)

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