You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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