Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
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Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
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His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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