This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
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his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
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I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?