My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
