Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
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some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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