AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
