Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
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