how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
They have beer where we have blood.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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