we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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