the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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