I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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