I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Randomize
