I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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