I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Randomize