We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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