I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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