i will never coherently bang her
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Randomize