Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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