I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
